Style - Loving The Body You Have Right Now
What The Heck Happens, When You Hate Looking In The Mirror ?
Do you, like me struggle with your style, how you look, how you feel? me too, for so long I've hated looking in the mirror at myself, and still do on certain days, so Ive decided to share my thoughts and new journey with you.
I have decided I need to start loving me, and the body I have right now!, its beauty, and its flaws ( and I think there are many ) and to stop wishing for the body shape I had at 17 & 34 for me these were the ages I felt my body looked its best.
Do you also like me, often find yourself feeling guilty, or wasting your time and energy into how you want to look, or should look for your age (Iam 50 next year and can't wait) do you feel pressured by the fashion, or beauty industry, to look a certain way, I know I do.
But for the past year and a half, and with a lot going on in my life, I have been concerned with my emotional wellbeing, and my weight ( wobbly mummy tummy, bingo wings for arms, bigger bottom, you get the picture ) and distinct lack of physical strength, and my lack of style ( IE: no idea springs to mind )
But I have now come to realise that this train of thought is no good, as it makes me feel a failure, and no longer beautiful in my own skin, so I have written a list of what's important to me instead, and I am going to focus on this, healthy mindset and all that.
So Here is what's important to me:
1) Develop a healthy emotional mindset and practice my mindfulness, meditation, and journalling daily, I have also started using essential oils as part of my emotional wellbeing, and they have helped me so much.
2) Develop a healthy eating and drinking plan again, and stick to it ( I used to do slimming world ) and ive found myself drowning in the bottle to stop my feelings when theyve got to much, so I need to find my favourite recipes, and create healthy alternatives, ( if anyone knows where I can buy a beautiful glass water bottle, let me know) I started with this only at the beginning of this month, with my hubby, so no dramatic results yet
3) Exercise - but unless this involves dance or swimming it's a no go, I hate exercise, and I hate the gym even more, I have tried the home fitness dvd route, but I lack motivation, and hate to do it alone, I know swift kick up the bottom needed ( gently now, I bruise easily )
4) Sort out my cluttered mess of a wardrobe, find what fits ( yes I have clothes that I swear ill lose weight for ) and throw away what doesn't ( except the dress I know ill get back into if I can stick to the plan ) you too, phew I am glad I am not alone in this, and also to find out what suits me and my shape, no more granny clothes ( as my 22 year old daughter often yells at me ) I am 48 but still feel 18, but I don't want to look like a teenager or my nan ( who god love her used to wear a floral housecoat )
I feel guilty even writing this all down, as for so long it has been in the back of my mind, you know thinking of the body I had before my children, and after my first marriage break down, what memories, my body was thinner and more toned, no stretch marks, no bingo wings and a bottom that got many a wolf whistle.
A body and a mind that had no problem life and with clothes what so ever, and that could wear all the latest fashion, whereas now well my body has definitely softened, my belly is round ( I call it my Buddha belly ) I have soft pink silvery stretch marks, weaving their own path across my belly, thighs and bottom, the signs of being pregnant several times, and carrying my precious children, although only 4 made it to earth, I lost two babies, and one pregnancy was twins with only one surviving but each pregnancy took it's toll on my body, and my emotional wellbeing, as I was very ill throughout all.
The softness of both mind and body, is a gentle reminder of hard labour, soft conversations and the sweetest lullaby, of precious hugs from tiny arms, and time well spent with my children, my silvery pink marks beating a path, that god had made for me, my life and my journey of motherhood ( not bad considering I was told I would never have children, but thats another story )
God or whoever watches over us, obviously had another story planned for me, that did not include slim legs, arms, or a flat tummy, ( yeah thanks for that pal, I will have a word when I get to heaven )
So thinking all this made me stop, and actually think about what kind of life I now want for my future self ( to love me wholeheartdly) what style & clothes, I want in my wardrobe, and how I want to feel and look in these clothes.
My answer chic but casual, feminine, yet bold, ladylike, polished and professional but not over the top, still me comfy and relaxed like an old pair of slippers ( I currently live in my comfy jeans, T shirt and long boyfriend cardigan, with my hair a mess, anyone that has root regrowth will understand, the badger look is not nice )
So I have decide, now is the time to take stock, throw away all the negative self talk, thoughts and feelings, and find a new way to loving me as I am right now, and a new home for the clothes I no longer have use for, I am going to love the body I have now, mummy tummy and all ( mind you a pretty dress or new jeans that fit my curves would help with this )
I know I feel my best when my hair has been coloured, wearing my fave jeans, boots and blazer, or a pretty dress and heels, I am not a done up to the nines kinda gal, unless the occasion calls for black tie that is, with me what you see, is what you get a northern gal, who was a tomboy and still is a little at heart, and I won't ever again apologise for being myself warts and all.
So ladies - lets do this together, lets love ourselves mind, body, and soul, lets take the time to get a manicure, haircut at least once every six weeks, or pull on your favourite outfit ( you know the one, yes that one it makes you look a million dollars ) take yourself on a lunch date, hold your head high, and love the body and the mind you have now, for you are beautiful.
And you are so damn worth it!!!
Hugs & Wishes